Lonely
by AiLing
Summary: With Lexie gone, Cristina half the globe away and Derek away meeting the President, Meredith Grey is feeling lonely indeed.


**Lonely**

**I realize how lonely Meredith can feel with Lexie and Cristina gone and with Derek busy with his job. So I came up with this one shot. Enjoy! **

The Seattle rain is pouring outside. Noises of wild insects could be heard from the nearby woods. The quiet and mystery of the night has invaded the surroundings of the mansion at the hills in which the Sheperd family live in.

Inside the mansion, Meredith Grey had just finished tucking her children into bed, a ritual which took much longer than usual as Zola in particular demanded for bedtime story after story. The little girl was not satisfied with the usual rendition of 'Frozen' she wanted to listen to something entirely different tonight. So Meredith ended up telling her the story about how she and Derek met at the bar. It seemed to pipe up the little girls interest and she ended up answering question after question until Zola's eyes finally became droopy.

After one final peep into both Zola and Bailey's bedrooms and ensuring they are both sound asleep, Meredith took the baby monitor with her to the sitting room. The entire house was so quiet, too eerily quiet for her own good. She switched on both the tv and the radio instinctively just to counter the quietness. As she expected, there was nothing noteworthy on the tv- all her favourite shows were on hiatus for the summer. Sighing, she let ENews run on the background as she retrieved her laptop from her bedroom and placed it in front of the tv so that she could multitask. Automatically she logged onto Facebook. She was by no means a Facebook addict- but she found herself checking newsfeeds too from time to time just to see what old friends and relatives are up to. Today in particular, she had nothing better to do. She had a rare day off today to take care of her kids as Derek was in Washington DC again for another conference and all the nannies or babysitters were unavailable today. Somehow they all decided to go on vacation at the same time.

The first update that caught her eye was that of Cristina posting a picture of the view outside her office in the hospital in Zurich. It was beautiful, with the snowy mountains in clear view. She liked the photo and decided to comment on it…'Beautiful View' she typed, half hoping for an immediate response from Cristina- but no such luck, Cristina wasn't online it seems. The next update that caught her attention was that of Derek posting a picture of him with who else but the President himself. 'My selfie with the president' was the caption. She liked the photo too and commented ' Proud of you my hubby'. Her heart swelled with pride for her husband, but at the same time she couldn't help but feel jealous and a little resentment. Her husband was in Washington, taking selfies with the President, while she was stuck here a home taking care of the kids like an obedient housewife. She loved her kids so much , there are her everything, but she still couldn't understand how women could give up their whole career and their whole lifetime to stay at home to take care of their kids.

The truth was, Meredith was lonely. Now the kids were asleep, she was alone In this big house with no one to talk to. With Derek away with the President, and Amelia on call in the hospital, she has no company at all tonight. If she had agreed to move with Derek to Washington- she wouldn't be alone at this moment- she would be with him. However, she would have left everything behind her- her whole life. After all, she was born here, she grew up here, she built her career to the top here, transformed from a young intern into a mature general surgery attending here, she fell in love and built her family here. How could she leave an entire lifetime of memories behind?

Her thoughts began to wander back to the good old days when she was just an intern. MAGIC they called themselves. Meredith, Alex, George, Izzie and Cristina. Now George was dead, Izzie and Cristina are gone. And Alex has Jo Wilson, and as happy as Meredith is for him, she felt a little jealous that Jo now has Alex all for herself.

Her sister Lexie. Even though she never mentioned it to anyone, thoughts of Lexie would haunt her frequently, especially in times like these when she felt alone. She never admitted it to anymore but she actually missed Lexie. A lot. She missed having Lexie around to make breakfast in the morning, she missed seeing Lexie playing with Zola, she missed Lexie's infectious smile and laughter. If only she had known that Lexie's life would be cut short so abruptly, she would have been a much better sister to her.

And of course she missed Cristina. Cristina was her best friend, her confidante, her soulmate. The only person who understood her when she was being dark and twisty. She missed their chats, missed the nights they stayed up all night drinking tequila and dancing away. Cristina was the only person who really got her, who always cheered her up. She missed the other half of the twisted sisters, as they would call themselves.

The rest of the attendings were just colleagues to her. Callie and Arizona had each other, Jackson and April had each other. Yes, she has Derek- but now he is away so often, she is beginning to feel very lonely indeed.

Just then, the radio chose the right song to play on air.

'_All by myself, don't' wanna be, all by myself anymore'_ Celine Dion's voice filled the night air.

And that was enough to send tears running down Meredith's cheeks. She seldom cries- but now that no one can see her, and the song being the trigger- she decided to let all her emotions that had been pent inside her out. It turned into a full fledged sobbing in front of the tv and her laptop.

When she finally composed herself, feeling better after the breakdown- she decided to continue scrolling through her Facebook.

She was pleasantly surprised when suddenly a private Facebook message appeared from Cristina.

'Hey Mer- Whats' up'

' Nothing just staying at home with the kids. Am feeling lonely as the kids are asleep and Derek is in Washington' Meredith replied.

'Awww…don't feel that way. We can always facetime and facebook message each other everyday' came the reply which brought a smile to her face.'

What Cristina said is true- Meredith suddenly felt lucky to be living in an age where the internet made it possible to keep in touch with loved ones who are half the world away on a regular basis.

' I miss you' Meredith typed.

' Miss you too… gotta go now I have a bypass surgery I need to perform… ;) It's still daylight here remember, will tell you all about it!' - Cristina

Meredith sighed. She was back to feeling lonely again.

It was already 10 pm, half an hour past the time Derek would usually FaceTime her.

'Maybe he is busy attending a party with the President' she thought to herself.

Her Whatsapp notification beeped. She picked up her phone to see it was Callie, asking her if she could babysit for Sofia tomorrow, and Zola could have a playdate with Sofia at the same time. A win win situation. She found herself getting closer to Callie and Arizona ever since they had children.

'Sure thing!' she replied.

'Alright- will bring Sofia over at eight tomorrow! Thanks bunches!' came the reply.

Just then her current favourite song came on the radio, Idina Menzel's 'Let It Go'

_The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,  
not a footprint to be seen.  
A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen.  
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.  
Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried.  
Don't let them in, don't let them see.  
Be the good girl you always have to be.  
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know.  
Well, now they know!_

_Let it go, let it go!  
Can't hold it back any more.  
Let it go, let it go!  
Turn away and slam the door.  
I don't care what they're going to say.  
Let the storm rage on.  
The cold never bothered me anyway._

Before she knew it- Meredith found herself dancing in her living room to the song. Before she had children, she would have laughed at the song and dispelled it as a kiddy song. But Zola had somehow managed to get her drawn into the beauty of the movie and the song.

She suddenly stopped abruptly when a certain little girl appeared in front of her, staring at her with wide eyes.

'Mummy, you love that song too!'

'Zola- you are supposed to be asleep!'

'Yea, but I heard the song, mummy'.

Usually she would have told Zola to go back to bed. But instead she picked the little girl up and both mother and daughter danced and twirled in delight to the remainder of the song.

They were so into the song that they both did not hear the sound of the front door being open.

'Ehem' the voice of someone clearing his throat startled both Meredith and Zola. For a moment Meredith felt her heart jump out from her chest, and instinctively hugged Zola tight. She was willing to do anything to protect her children.

But Zola had other ideas.

'Daddy!' Zola screamed in delight, wriggling out of Meredith's firm grasp.

Meredith slowly turned around to see her husband standing right in front of her, in flesh and in person. He will always be her knight in shining whatever.

'Derek, I thought you were supposed to come back in 3 days time?' she managed. Although deep in her heart, she was extremely glad he is back.

Derek walked towards his wife and daughter and caught them both in a tight embrace.

'Yes, I still have 3 more days of the conference left, but I have decided that family is more important then all these meetings with the President. Because at the end of the day, the only people who will be by my side is my family' Derek said earnestly.

Meredith stared at her husband, wondering if she is actually dreaming.

But when he pulled her into a warm and lingering kiss, earning an 'ewwwww; from Zola, she knew that she wasn't dreaming.

' Surprise?' Derek smiled dreamingly at his wife after the kiss.

Meredith only managed a weak nod and a smile, her eyes were filling with tears again.

'Awww….don't cry' Derek whispered, wiping away her tears.

' No, they are tears of joy' Meredith insisted.

' I have a surprise for you too' Meredith whispered into his ear, so that Zola couldn't hear her. What Derek didn't know at that moment was that the surprise in store, waiting for him in the bedroom is a blue ' Best Big Brother' onsie she brought for Bailey today, while bringing the children shopping.

Yes, Meredith Grey may be lonely at times, but she still considers herself the luckiest woman alive.

**Hope you enjoyed it! Read and review : )**


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